I had been searching for answers to questions that had been hammering me inside, louder and louder after specific triggers. In all my confusion of mixed feelings, never-ending exponential uncertainties and never-ending painful discoveries, it was clear that I needed “the” triple vote for this one (mind-heart-gut) and could not force the timing for voting. So in the meantime I would go with the flow, though in almost perfect awareness in order to listen to these usually soft-voiced votes. And one day, the results from the votes were there unavoidable, brusquely on my face, loud into my ears: it was time to say good-bye to NY and beyond, much in spite of my pain. What happened is not to be shared on this blog, or not at this moment. However what I would like to share –and what follows the purpose of this blog- are these thoughts:
“When someone shouts at you, when someone scolds you, when someone is rude to you, when someone has abused you or is hurting you, when someone doesn’t agree with you or opposes you, that is when you practice the Dharma.
Deception, stealing and lying are causes for small-scale wars that lead to the loss of inner peace for others and ourselves.
Not getting revenge is a true sign of inner peace and strength.
You experience compassion when you give it, not when you get it.
It is easy to be nice to someone who is nice to you. They are nice to you, you are nice to them. That is not religion, that is not spiritualism, that is not Catholicism, that is not Jesus, that is not Buddha, that is not God. It is nice and easy to be nice to someone who is nice to you, but it is not easy to be nice to someone who is not nice to you. Religion and spiritual practice is being nice and patient to people who are not to you.
Loving others does not mean you neglect yourself. It just means you find better ways to love yourself through others.
Time passes fast. Situations change. Whatever we work so hard to accomplish in life vanishes fast. People age fast. People die and they never come back as we know them, so we have to make the best of it while they are with us now. Do not let simple obstacles –laziness, fear, avoidance, excuses- stop you from doing the best you can for people who have been kind to you in many ways. Time and death of people will not stand still for you to finish your project, plans, works and wishes. If the real reason for what we are doing now is bring happiness to those we care about, and we neglect, mistreat, forget them or make them sad, then how do we know they will still be around or alive when we are ready?
Everything that we have is only for a very, very short time. And the most important thing in our lives are the people who care about us –these are the people who have loyally stayed with us and who have been by our side through our bad habits, bad temper, bad words and anger. It is these people –who have stayed with us over time- who are important. In the end, we might lose everything except these people.”
[From “IF NOT NOW, WHEN?” by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, www.kechara.com. Kechara is a non-profit Buddhist organization.]
4 comments:
I think the only thing which makes life meaningful is love, yet there are many different kinds of love, and it might even happen that we need to get away from some of them.
It is to be debated whether these are really forms of love or whether they have transformed into something else.
Regardless of the answer, I have come by a very simple rule: 'Ye shall know them by their fruits.'If this love is transforming me into somebody I don't like, then it is time to start asking myself some questions.
Maybe the questions that you are mentioning are the "questions that had been hammering me inside, louder and louder".
The thing is when to pull the plug. When you go from 'practicing compassion' to 'my survival is at risk', when you are the only one keeping peace in spite of the multiple reckless attacks, how many more times will you accept being pushed to the edge of the cliff...
Ahhhh.... being pushed to the cliff, inevitably 'a time to say goodbye'.
I liked the three folded question: heart, mind, gut. It is very enlightening.
The thing is sometimes it is difficult to synchronize the three, right? In hindsight everything looks clear but when you're in the middle of everything, sometimes you don't realize they are actually pushing to the edge.
It is true it is hard to listen to all 3, but not impossible. To me it is the only way to go, particularly in crucial decisions. All you need is to listen (ie, be 100% aware), and they talk. And not in hindsight but right there. That was why my confusion, and my timing... i was just waiting for the triple vote; I NEEDED the triple vote! I was not only getting partial votes but also inconsistent results. Could have it been any worse? Probably yes... being 'deaf' and 'blind'....
One of the founders of Sony, a multi-billionaire Japanese businessman was asked this question: How did you get there? How do you do it? You would think that he has multiple degrees and had studied in the Ivey League universities. But, he has no formal business education or whatsoever. He said: "whenever i have to sign an important contract, of course i read it, but in the end, i ask my gut. If my gut tells me not to, then that is what i do."
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