Thursday, June 10, 2010

(Alien) Expectations and False Advertising

After a series of developments, the decision was to stay for at least another month in NYC. I embarked in a project that seemed easy considering the excessive supply, overall economic conditions of the city, and my past experience in multiple locations: condo-hunting!

Are these people delusional when providing with descriptions of their nests, or are they deliberately over-selling? How can people live actually in those places? Some of them looked like “normal people”. I mean, if you met them on the street, you would never tell that they live in a filthy, or smelly or depressing place!

At first, arranging condo visits was an exciting and promising task… after a few days of searching on line, spending more hours than anyone would want to on the internet corresponding emails, and on the phone and of course on the subway, it seemed as promising and exciting as looking for a needle in a haystack, with a clock in the countdown. So many mini-dreams -particularly after seeing photos and agreeing on the price and dates-, quickly turned into mini-disappointments after each visit.

Communication! That deserves a paragraph by itself. Do people know how to communicate with the rest of the world or are they intentionally evading my very specific questions (reader-friendly short and sweet questions, listed in bullet points)? OK! I was so spoiled, coming from the corporate world where I was the one asking the questions (because of my job) and where not answering is a sign of weakness or at least a brow-riser.

Expectations! Isn’t life easier with fewer expectations? However, many times we become victims of false advertising, of misleading communication. How many times, we go with an open mind and no expectations (like I was condo hunting), but we get influenced in between (like by the owner commending the beauties of his/her place) and voila: expectation created even without us knowing, inviting it or feeding it. And frustration arises when we realize that the truth will not meet our expectation, even if it is an alien expectation in us.

“I don’t know where my likes and dislikes actually really lead me to but one thing is certain: in order to truly by surrounded by what I like and avoid what I don’t like, I always need to not have likes and dislikes, and just accept.”


[From “IF NOT NOW, WHEN?” by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, www.kechara.com. Kechara is a non-profit Buddhist organization.]

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