This was supposed to be the express bus, but: this heated miscommunication/distrust incident + the endless line of people boarding in the mall where we stopped (they filled up the bus!) + the traffic to enter Manhattan = anything but express!
The closer we were to Manhattan, the slower we started to move forward. Ironically, although space separating me from my destination was shrinking with every minute, time seemed to be lengthening. It was as if time was playing some game on me: yes, you are almost there, but, it will take longer, and a bit longer, and actually some further bit longer. Part of me would have loved to be ejected from that seat and into the station where they were waiting for me. The other part of me was telling me: ‘go as a river- I know where I am going, I am on my way, no worries, no hurry.’
I got the reply to my TXT where I was advising of my delay: “The wait (to a point) makes it sweeter.” And I smiled- big smile, those that take quite a while to fade. I read the TXT again: it melted my half-anxiety, warmed my heart, and, I smiled again. Now it was 2 of us going as a river.
“No coming, No going
No coming, no going
No after, no before
I hold you close to me
I release you to be so free
Because I am in you and you are in me.”
[From the booklet at Blue Cliff Monastery “SONGS FOR MEDITATION PRACTICE- THIS IS A MOMENT OF HAPPINESS”.]
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