Some familiar sensation came to me: even though this was my first time here, the moment I walked into the building, I felt like arriving home -just as it had happened to me when I arrived at the Monastery a few days earlier. Maybe because of the not-totally-unfamiliar NY feeling (yet, NY), maybe because of the obvious Latin presence in the neighborhood where you listen to more Spanish than English on the streets, maybe because of company, maybe because of the last ten days of travels.
I had this mix of relaxing after the trip and the anticipation, unwinding after the excitement of meeting, relaxing after finally meeting -following a long undesired time apart. Has it ever happened to you that you wish something so strongly that you cannot believe it when it comes true? Has it happened to you that you dream of something so vividly and then when you are living your dream, you cannot tell if it is for real? Has it ever happened to you that when this dream comes true, you are so joyful, thankful and relieved that your eyes get watery? Has it ever happened to you that you are in such a state that you feel relaxed and excited, in bliss and in peace, high and yet, mindful and grounded, all together? Have you ever felt in such a way that it is as if nothing can possibly manage to affect your state, your higher perspective, where your heart is very sensitive (in the positive way) and open for giving, receiving and expressing, yet your mind seems to be decoding all developments and stepping in your life just as needed? As if heart and mind and spirit were dancing in perfect synch and harmony.
Probably by now you must be wondering if my descriptions above are those of somebody coming from a week in a Zen monastery. You have read a few times: craving, wish, dream, excited, expectations, anticipation… I believe that as human beings we cannot kill emotions, or ignore them, or hush them. The key is what we do with them, if we let them on the driver’s seat of our lives or if we acknowledge them, take care of them, listen to them and take them into account as another indicator on the dashboard (i.e., they have voice and vote, but no monopoly). Emotions are one of the things that make us human beings different from other creatures. Some people have a negative bias towards emotions; I believe they are missing on a powerful source of energy. Positive emotions can be very empowering, invigorating and contagious, just as negative emotions and emotional manipulation can be draining, equally contagious and even devastating.
After spending a sweet, relaxing weekend, exploring and enjoying the beautiful parks and views in Inwood, fate knocked at my door.
“By realizing that all sentient beings
Are more precious than wish-granting jewels,
For attainment of the supreme goal,
May I always hold them dear to my heart!”
[From “The Eight Verses of Transforming the Mind” by Geshe Langri Tangpa]
2 comments:
Yes, I have felt like that and I do believe it's what makes life worth living even though it almost never lasts forever. Still, if truth be told, I think most of my life, this has been driving me on, the search for exactly this feeling. I think it gives meaning beyond the frontiers of its limited life span.
And it was just a week ago, whilst in the middle of one analytical conversation that I came up with: 'Happiness can also change the world' and I've been holding on to this one sentence like a mantra finding deeper and deeper layers of meaning as I repeat it to myself. Bliss and love are much more powerful actually than suffering and yes... even sacrifice as sources of transforming energy.
I would be devastated if that is the meaning of life- does that imply then when i cannot reach that state, my life is meaningless? I want to think that our live's meaning exceeds any feeling, and is not that fragile and volatile.
I do believe that happiness can change the world. And more than happiness, love. Happiness is like trying to hold a live fish with your hands.
I see "that state" and happiness as a consequence/symptom/manifestation of something deeper and stronger. Not sure if we can consciously search for 'that state', or for that state as an end in itself...
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