- Sister, it’s so difficult to be a layperson in this sick society, even with those that are closest to me: they question my year off, they question my relationships and friendships. It seems that you have to fit into certain mold.
- If you find your happiness during your year off, then there is no money that can buy that.
- I was in Key Biscayne a few months ago, walking by myself like every evening, enjoying sunset while reflecting along the beach. However this specific day, I witnessed the most gorgeous sunset ever (and I am sunsets’ #1 fan), the clouds going from pink to orange, the sky with that unique neutral color seemed the perfect background to enhance the clouds’ hues, the ocean was pink and the moon was coming out on the water! I felt so happy and blessed to be gifted with such a show, however, I was equally unsatisfied (sad?) because I could not share my thrill and joy and that magnificent sunset with anyone. It was as if the tremendous joy from witnessing such a sunset was cut in half because I had no one to share and appreciate with. Something similar happened to me when I was living in this incredible condo, with a breathtaking view, but no one to share with. I also see so many people that ‘fit in the mold’, or have the ‘perfect life’ for an outside eye, but they do not smile! I don’t want any of that. I want a sunset I can share with. I was happier in a tent in the cold in Catskills than in the gorgeous place by myself. I don’t want to fit in a mold (like be married) and unhappy; I’d rather be not-married and happy.
- All that is good. We should be aware of our happiness, we cannot expect to be happy 24 hours a day, but even if we have a moment of happiness in a day, we should be grateful and delighted.
- With all these stereotypes in people’s minds… maybe they are right and I am wrong (in terms of forms of life)….[interrupting me]
- There is no right or wrong. You are happy or not.
- Sister, isn’t simple life so healthy? You (the monastery) are supposed to be a place for the modern society to heal, an oasis. Yesterday I read on one of Thay’s books something that really caught my attention and I believe he is right: we are forcing people to get used or adapt to a sick society. How healthy is that?
And that then, when I want to take a year for myself, I get questioned or rejected.
- Your year off will not only be good for yourself, but for all those around you; they will also feel the effects.
- Sister, can meditation through visualization also be considered meditation?
- Yes, mediation is any way we can still our mind. We cannot drink water that is shaken because we don’t know if it is clear and pure and drinkable. Maria, this has been my longest advice session since I was ordained in October! (laughing)
- Thank you so much, Sister! Well, now you got your Masters degree!
- I realized that you were always alone, by yourself. I perceived that you had something to say or to share, and one feels lighter when one can do so. That’s why I had offered you to go for a walk. (with her sweetest smile and manners)
I was so deeply touched, by her words and attitude; I was in tears by now. I am still crying, because this is God (or however you wish to call that Force or Being or the Universe), telling me through this nun, that all the things I am doing, it is OK, in spite of all the difficulties, of all the opposing; everything is fine. And also touched because this is walking their own talk: sheer awareness, sheer compassion, sheer perception. I am totally moved; so much I feel my head and heart like with electricity.
Quote of the day:
“Let others win whether they are right or wrong. Let go of conventions, rules, projections, expectations. Just BE and do not let any experience which happens every moment be another factor for us to create more unhappiness because everything fades, just the results remain.
Surrender means opening up, your wounds, pain, suffering and desires. Surrender means you are ready to hear the truth.”
[From “IF NOT NOW, WHEN?” by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, www.kechara.com. Kechara is a non-profit Buddhist organization.]
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